I'm a Bad Tipper

• One way to drink more water is to drink scotch-and-water and spit out the scotch.



• Replace sugar with salt and salt with sugar.

• One way to train for a 26.2 mile marathon is to get really good at running .2 miles and then, when you’re comfortable, add in the 26-mile part.

• Remember, when you “sabotage” your diet plans, you’re making a “sab” out of “tag” and “e” (don’t stop and try to figure that out… just keep moving on!).

• 

You can get into any Weight Watchers meeting by looking exactly like Jennifer Hudson.



• Never eat black cat on a weigh-in day.

• Two things that make you look trimmer are wearing dark clothing and losing weight.

• When you're at a restaurant, ask yourself one question: "What the hell am I doing at this restaurant?"

• 

Did you know that you can actually leave the banana skins on when you mix up a smoothie? Of course, you can't drink it then...



• Instead of taking the stairs, take the elevator. Wait, you didn't let me finish… take the elevator while doing 1,000 lunges!

Life Is Good

Life is good.

Well, life is pretty good.

I mean, it’s okay, I guess.

There’s a lot of things that thoroughly frost my shorts though, like people being mean to each other and the way my body seems to sometimes crave all the wrong kinds of foods and then makes me feel miserable.

Life is pretty crappy sometimes.

You turn around twice and you’re older than you want to be, less healthy than you want to be, maybe not exactly where you thought you’d be by this point.

C'mon Life! What are ya doin' to me?

I mean, sometimes you get so stressed out and so worked up that you think you’re gonna explode.

And then you come to a realization: I don’t have control of every aspect of my life, but I do have control the most important ones.

I may be older now but I like to think I’m wiser, too. I may be less healthy than I want to be but I’m healthier than I was yesterday. If I’m not exactly where I want to be right now, I AM on my way.

And life is pretty fantastic sometimes.

There are a lot of things that put a smile on my kisser, like people doing good things for  each other and the way my body accepts that I’m trying to take it to a better place.

Life is good.